Anchor (for
Matiu)
Tahi.
Before you
were born, we decided you would be our weapon
Our strategy
Our
bullet-proof vest.
That you
would speak the language which we could not.
And, by so
doing, would right the wrongs
or turn back
time
or some
other cliché about gently nudging recent ancestors
who loved us
by pretending they couldn’t speak it either.
It was
unfair: a newborn baby taking a first breath
surrounded
by adults wanting to trick you into believing in a taken-for-granted world
which for us
remained a fantasy.
Wanting
every utterance of yours to be different from our own:
picking up
shame from where it has pooled around our feet;
scooping it
into buckets, or cups, or bails;
holding it
out for you to make it all disappear.
You were our
baby in the manger:
the one
whose tongue would save us all.
Rua.
Over time we
have come to know that words on the page are unkind to you.
You know so
much of two spoken languages
but Maori
boys at school are not judged for poetry.
These adults
in your life still as hopeless as ever,
waving to
you in your world across a thin crack which some days feels like a ditch.
We read
earnest articles about the importance of reading.
We quietly
panic about gaps at high school and fear that you could slip between
them.
We sit in
our houses of books and try to find the line
between
reading as medicine and reading as punishment.
Toru.
And then you
skype with me late one afternoon to practice your speech
which begins
with your pepeha as if that is the most ordinary way to start
when you’re
eleven years old.
How could we have guessed that this language would be your weapon
Your
strategy
Your
bullet-proof vest.